The first two obligations in marriage: Leave and cleave, by Daniel Adeola Aderounmu

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Matthew 19:5)

Marriage calls for us to “leave”—to let go of past attachments and make our spouse the focus of our love, energy, and attention.

Psalms 45:10-11 and Matthew 19:5 highlight that this commitment or obligation to “leave” is necessary for marriage to thrive and it concerns both partners.

It’s not about abandoning loved ones or ignoring valuable counsel; instead, it means prioritising our lives so our marriage can be nurtured independently.

Leaving requires maturity; it means we’re ready to manage our homes without outside control. While it’s still essential to respect and care for parents and loved ones, they shouldn’t dictate our homes’ direction.

It means that do not allow any one of them to rule your home. If they do, they may ruin your home.

The second commitment is to cleave. To cleave means being so tightly joined that nothing comes between you.

As Gbile Akanni puts it, cleaving means holding on closely, with no gaps, and never letting go. Don’t allow anyone or anything to steal your focus, affection, or attention from your spouse.

Leaving and cleaving work together, enabling us to become “one flesh”—united physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Join me tomorrow as we explore the third commitment, Give, and why this spirit of giving is key to a God-honouring marriage.

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©️ Daniel Adeola Aderounmu
Young & Family Influencer,
TLWF & Family Ministry.