Breaking: Atlast! Natasha begs Akpabio 

The Senator representing Kogi Central, Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan, has satirically apologised to the Senate president Godswill Akpabio.

The senator announced the apology on Sunday in social media post.

She said, “it is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance of the very personal kind.

“I understand that my refusal to indulge your “requests” was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.

“I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

“Please find it in your magnanimous heart somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections” she concluded.